Alright…this is going to be a tough ‘series’ to write. The reason I call it a series is there are going to be a number of posts that revolve around this. I’m going to preface all of these with one simple thing:
These posts aren’t necessarily going to relate to everyone but it is simply therapy for me to get it all out. A way to let it go… so sorry if this doesn’t help you but I will say that any support given is much appreciated.
Okay, now that we have that out of the way, lets get into the thick of it. My insecurities are something that claw their way to the surface about every other day (if not every day) in a different incarnation. Jane will do or say something innocent or bring Rose up and I either get distant, quiet, morose or some nights… well… some nights I fall into a heap and just cry. And I think I’m realizing that this new thing.. this new lifestyle is actually making me face myself. Myself and my past. Continue reading →
My kids sit and eat their dinner that I’ve thrown together as Jane is currently Skyping with her (our) long distance… Um… Not sure what to call her? Is she a girlfriend? Friend with Benefit? I have no goddamn clue how to define it but there’s something there. We’ll call her Rose. Rose is on the cusp of a major life change and has taken a fucking HUGE leap of faith that Jane and I couldn’t be prouder of. And while she’s away on her trip, it’s proven to be exhausting both physically and mentally. I know that Jane has a humongous heart and for me, she always has the right things to say to bring someone around. Jane, I know you read this as well so, whether I show it properly, you help me more than you know and it’s starting to show with the other people you’ve been able to reach out to. So be proud. Because the thing you’ve always wanted to do… help people… has finally come to fruition.
Rose is on the last leg of her trip and, though I’m not fully involved in the conversation at this point, it seems like she’s just… tired and unsure. So, while weekends for the most part are incredibly important to me as I’m not at work and can be here all day… I knew that Jane needed to reach out. And I was hoping beyond hope that Rose would accept the offer. And she did! Continue reading →