My insecurities suck ass. Not just for me, mind you, but for Jane as well. With how monogamous minded I’ve been since…well.. forever and the sudden change happening, I find myself dealing with a lot of past insecurities. And I didn’t realize just how many I had. Granted, I knew that I wasn’t the most secure in my own right, I thought I had a better handle on life.
I thought wrong
It goes back to the early years when I would deal with a sense of abandonment. Realizing that my mother ultimately didn’t want to have me, my older siblings not really wanting “the runt” around, being given body acceptance issues (I wasn’t heavy and yet I still received “heavy” nicknames saying I ate too much, etc… which ultimately led me to do so later on in life, and so on and so forth made coping with this a little more of a handicap. This, I know, is unfair to Jane, really. I understand this. I’ve suppressed a lot of these things for SO many years and now that my lovely wife wants to add a third person to the mix, it brought up the insecurities I have. And this is coming from someone that, after thinking about this last night, I thought I’d be prepared for this and actually, secretly WANTED this type of set up all along. Continue reading →
Call me Joe. I’ve decided to partially keep this anonymous because frankly, some people in my life really are not ready for how frank I’m going to be with this blog. If you’ve landed here, you more than likely were linked or did a search about the topic of Polyamory. A Monogamous person living with a Polyamorous person to be exact. That is my situation. Let me backtrack a bit though…
My wife and I have been married for more than a decade. We married young and had the world in front of us laid out like a platter. Problem is, we were flat broke so we often had to choose from the sample platter, if you will. We didn’t have it easy, as most couples don’t. Luckily we didn’t have to worry about things like student loans, etc. I didn’t make all that much money, even into the more recent years but, I’d like to think we did well with what we had. At the end of the day, we had each other, and that is what counted for me. She was, and still is, my life. Continue reading →